How to get an unwilling partner to attend marriage counseling

by | Jun 7, 2013 | Health

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Unless marriage counseling is ordered by the court, getting an unwilling spouse to go to marriage counseling sessions is almost impossible. If one spouse or the other does not really want to go to marriage counseling in Illinois, that person cannot be forced. If you do get an unwilling partner to agree to attend but states that they are unwilling to commit to any change, then attending the sessions will be of little benefit.

There are times however, when the reluctant spouse knows the marriage is in trouble and wants to make changes, but is reluctant because it will be uncomfortable for them to open up and talk to a stranger about the problems. There is always that feeling as well that the counselor and the partner who desires marriage counseling Illinois will use counseling as an opportunity to team up on him or her. In cases like this, where there is a desire but also reluctance, simply talking about it may encourage the spouse to give it a try.

It also may help if you explain to your spouse that marriage counseling is something that will help you. If the spouse senses that the counseling sessions are going to be of help and non-confrontational, he or she may agree.

If there is still no apparent agreement on the part of the spouse to attend counseling, there are many self-help books on the subject. You may find that once the reluctant partner begins to see just what counseling can do to improve a marriage that the fear of being uncomfortable will disappear and the person my wish to attend in the future or at least be willing to address the problems that are affecting the marriage.

If one partner to the marriage is taking independent counseling, the independent counselor should not be the one to do joint marriage counseling. There is no doubt that the individual counselor will put in an uncomfortable position with a perceived conflict of interest. If this feeling prevails, the other spouse will feel at a distinct disadvantage and become defensive. If you are in unique therapy and your spouse agrees to marriage counseling in Illinois, then find another therapist who can start fresh, displaying no partiality.


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